Why Gang Stalking, Electronic Targeted Assaults, and Psychotronic Torture Is A Conspiracy
Sometimes I believe the reason I was attacked with electronic targeted assault and psychotronic torture is because I’m not allowed to look better than my sister (physique-wise and facial skin beauty-wise) when we age. This may or may not be true. This is just sometimes my perception based on the things she says and does. Being twins, there is always a level of competition even in all lateral sibling relationships. As shallow as that may sound (and trust me, she can be pretty shallow) it’s about entitlements and rights. What’s even worse I perceive my sister as a non-stable personality. Why? She goes through psychotic breaks in reality and physically assaults me. And she has said several times to her husband, “If I’m going to help her, I’m not going to pay for her to work out all day” (this of course boils down to; “I’m not going to help her look better than me as we age.” So, in this game, it is not in my best interest to “look better” than her in terms of age and beauty. We are talking about someone who came over yesterday and screamed at me over yogurt. In her processes of belittlement and dehumanization, she made me feel like I was the lowest piece of shit and “deserved to live in the gutter.” That I was just like one of those little “niglettes” that come into her medical office as a patient. Which leads me to question, what does she call white children? Chicken Mcnuggets? And what of Asian children? Are they “chica-de-China-Chinese chicken nuggets.”
“In poverty she is envious. In riches she may be a snob. Money doesn’t change the sickness, only the symptoms.” ~John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent
As a non-stable personality, she is prone to and has a proclivity, not only to psychotic breaks, but also victim blaming as well. Where she perceives certain people “deserving of being beaten,” “deserving of being raped,” and “deserving of being murdered.” When, in fact, no one deserves such treatment. That kind of justice isn’t justice at all, and the only people endowed with any legal authority to take a life is the Supreme Court in handing down capital punishment.
When I said to my sister yesterday, that she was “fucking disgusting” she thought I was talking about beauty. She told me to “look in the mirror.” I responded, “What? I’m disgusting? Because I look like YOU now. Cellulite all over my arms and legs, a big fat belly, grey hair, and wrinkles?” Now, in terms of beauty, we are on the same level which is a far cry from where I was about six years ago. But I wasn’t talking about physical beauty, I was talking about how she lacks in human warmth and decency. That she, in fact, lacks in basic human respect for our fellow men calling black children, “niglettes.” And most recently she said, “I’m sick of George Floyd.” Meaning she is sick of hearing the incessant news coverage over the black man killed by a white police officer. Because in her line of thinking, “Some people deserved to be killed” (as well as beaten, raped, or whatever). Because THEY bring it on themselves. She is a victim blamer. Alcoholics deserve what they get because “THEY cause their own misery.” HOMELESS people deserve what they get because “THEY can’t or won’t help themselves.” This is not a decent character trait of a “good person.” This is the character trait of a person prone to psychotic breaks in reality; suffering delusions. When she started screaming about yogurt, she started treating me like a second-class citizen, a piece of shit that belongs in the gutter because “people like me end up homeless and are deserving of abuse.” This is what a psychotic break, in reality, looks like. It is dehumanizing a person and casting them in the role of non-human (animal). It is also what serial killers and sadistic rapists do to their victims. If any person has ever come close to ever needing to put on a dog collar and leash, this bitch has because she is VICIOUS, MACHIAVELLIAN, NARCISSISTIC, and SADISTIC. This personality Triade of her’s (known as the Dark Triad), makes a consistent and repetitive re-appearance in her relationship with Objects in her relational world. Especially when those she is in competition with, are better off than she. This is Object Relations Theory 101. Some people do belong in cages.
“People don’t care what you do, they care why you do it.”
This is the same person who felt entitled to just come over and rip out MY GARDEN. The garden I loved for her own interests. In the interest of POWER and CONTROL in asserting her authority. An act she committed AGAINST ME which was an act that ripped the heart right out my chest because I LOVED GARDENING. I don’t have much but the things that meant the most to me in life were the things I have worked the hardest to get. My Phi Theta Kappa pin, my son, and my garden, to name a few.
The problem is I’m dealing with people in my family who will exploit and monopolize on my weakness in order to “gain more sales.” After all, why would someone spend all that money on a watch, a Rolex that tells time no better than a Timex? Why would someone spend all that money on Mercedes Benz, when a car that is just as well manufactured and/or safely produced can cost much less? There is only one answer. She NEEDS more sales. THEY NEED more sales because they themselves are unable to correct their unconscious fixed dysfunction. When dealing with people they will periodically lack traits like; empathy, understanding another’s way of being, compassion for difference, mercy, justice, fairness, and equality under the law. They’re narcissistic, entitled, and possess the merest particle of the meanest character Hegel discussed in his work Phenomenology of Spirit. Some might call them the worst traits of a capitalist; the Star Trek’s Ferengi. Ferengi culture is depicted as hyper-capitalistic, focused on the acquisition of profit as the highest goal. They’ll jump at the chance to take an opponent down for more money and “more sales” in the game. In game theory, people employ these strategies to try and “come out on top.” In politics, politicians use similar types of strategies and tactics to appeal to their voters by slinging mud at their opponents in smear campaigns. The only thing flashing money around does is attract people who are just as narcissistic and interested in having more money which may provoke hostility and resentments in others, thereby, attracting more enemies.
I’ve spent some time trying to tease out the treads, trying to discover which thread belongs to which personality. But the confusing part is that some threads belong to multiple players’ personalities. One of them is an insatiable NEED for “more sales” which may, in all likelihood, be rooted in Oedipal competition between siblings. Feelings of when both of them, at specific points in childhood, felt like they “lost out” on “mother’s/father’s love.” Take for example, when I was going through an eating disorder at the age of 13 years old, more attention was lavished on me by my parents under the orders of my then doctor. In game theory, the “more sales” I received (e.g., attention) not only from my parents but my friends in school as well which placed ENVY in the heart of my sister. An ENVY that might have always been there but had now become intensified.
The NEED I am referring to here is known as NARCISSISTIC SUPPLY and some people have more of an insatiable need for “more sales” than others, but in truth, we all need a certain amount of narcissistic supply. It’s just how we go about acquiring it that makes the difference. It is for this reason, many people will seek help from a therapist because the insatiable need for a narcissistic supply can cause problems in personal relationships and people end up becoming unhappy. It is the narcissists that are prone to physical assaults as well as sexual assaults that destroy relationships.
I have actually come to believe that I am just a Guinea Pig with the right kind of psychological diagnosis. And when my sister, or my mother, or some other family relative treats me in a dehumanizing way they use electronic targeted assaults and psychotronic torture so I don’t fall back on my coping mechanism which is to EXCERCISE. So, I am the GUINEA PIG with the PSYCHO-NEUROTIC RESPONSE TRIGGER and some mad scientist can test the unknown waters out on with his new advanced electronic gadgetry. That I may have been unwilfully and unlawfully placed in a research study, studying the side-effects of electronic targeted assaults and psychotronic torture to evaluate whether or not a form of advanced technological medicine would be successful in curbing or preventing certain “self-defense mechanisms,” in my case EXERCISE. Since I’m “triggered” when a separation or loss occurs in my personal relationships; when exclusion or expulsions (isolation) by others in my relationships. When this happens, I would typically EXERCISE, but now my brain feels like someone is trying to “wipe my hard drive” and replace it with cotton. It seems likely that the electronic torture and psychotronic torture may be happening to me as part of an INFINITE GAME strategy. This is a game that is played out in perpetuity or until I run out of resources or give up my will to continue on in the game (e.g., the will to fight back).
In 1997, after I lost my eldest brother to a tragic car accident and following the loss of my job, I entered college and enrolled in 7 classes the first semester. I call this a “psycho-neurotic” response because it's extreme. Seven classes are pretty intense and extreme caseload. But because of the “psycho-neurotic” response (a response rooted in drive theory), I achieved outstanding grades. I was offered membership in Phi Theta Kappa, an honor society for two-year colleges. I made the President’s List which is ABOVE the Dean’s List.
In 2003, after the sudden and unexpected loss of my nephew, my “psycho-neurotic” response took the form of habitual exercise. I started exercising moderately for 5 hours a day. I dropped over 50 lbs. I went from a size 14 to a size 4. These events, although psychologically triggering, allowed me to achieve success in my life. And so, I believe ELECTRONIC TARGETED ASSAULT AND PSYCHOTRONIC TORTURE are most likely being employed by an OPERATOR(S) who fear my success and are interested in preventing me from achieving success and ultimately happiness. Because right now, I’m so pissed at my sister and my mother for treating me like a piece of shit all I want to do is exercise my aggression away and they won’t let me do this as long as they continue to utilize this technology against me. They diked an avenue that is beneficial for health, mental health, and well-being and replaced it with an avenue that is pernicious; drinking alcohol.
Most psychiatrists would say a moderate response to problem-solving is best, but extreme environments call for extreme problem-solving. Exercising to dissolve aggression is healthy. Working harder in your career in order to do better than you did before; optimum. So, I cannot believe this technology is serving my interests at all. In fact, it’s serving my enemy’s interests so they achieve “more sales.”
Now, my sister will be entertaining at her Memorial Day picnic where various extended family and friends will be inclusively invited. Ask me if I’ll be there? No. Why? Because the bitch is psycho and I can’t exercise any of the anger and aggression I may feel about that away. Just think how upsetting it must have been when she realized her fucking psychotic antics is what has driven my success? They’d rather me “wash away my misery with alcohol” than release it in a healthy way. They achieve “more sales” that way. Else they’d turn off this fucking electronic frequency assaults (CST) and would have never stopped me from exercising in the first place and replaced that activity with an alcoholic solution in the first place. They started bringing me alcohol, something they never did before.
